In love with a married man, need advice please: August 2010

Monday, August 23, 2010

I need a man's advice?

Women can answer too, but I really really want a man's opinion.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months now, everything is great except for ONE thing. I wish he would communicate with me more. I tell him that I wish he would call me more or make more time for me, and he says that he will try but it always seems like hes not putting in any extra effort. Sometimes he says that I am too demanding. I've come to realize that this has a lot to do with gender differences, women need reassurance and to feel like they are special all the time. Men need their space.... but I'm just wondering... to what extent does that apply? If your girlfriend wanted you to communicate with her more, would you not call her every day without making it out to be such a huge chore? Do I have to just accept that he is a guy and that guys dont always have the need to talk to their girlfriends like we do?I need a man's advice?
Guys really don't like talking on the phone if there's nothing to really talk about. Calling just to talk isn't really our bag.

If there's something that needs to be talked about or if you need him to help you out with a problem or something, sure...but like if you're driving in your car and bored and decide to call him just to pass time, not really *my* favorite thing anyways.

edit: wow, I used the word ';really'; a billion times there...

edit2: mithril's got it right.I need a man's advice?
Your boyfriend if you can find the right one, he should be the same as your best friend and lover. That you can talk to him about anything ,please each other to what you want. Find the best mate you can,not easy. Go for the gold. Don't take silver.
Believe it or not, women need their space, too. Just try taking it. Soon he'll be underfoot.

Men need reassurance, too. Try switching your communication to non-verbal.....DO something to let him know you love him, like a back-rub without being asked. I call it, the silent treatment: picking up his favourite treats, put his favourite program on, making a play list of his favourite songs....

Take time when he's not around to indulge in your favourite things without any guilt that he's bored or something.

Don't wind up being one of these girls who says ';Talk to me'; then can't be quiet long enough to listen.
Sorry--no guy here, but I've been there, done that.

There are enough men around who DO communicate and express their feelings and talk, etc. by choice, not because they're asked or pushed. You should know that this guy you're dealing with is not likely to change, and it's especially obvious after you've been so up front with him about what you want. You should move on and find a guy who better meets your needs. You might be able to tolerate his behaviour now, but if you ever ended up with him long term your tolerance would decrease and you'd end up dumping him or being dumped.
Us guys call our girlriends every day when the relationship just starts the slowly we stop or just call a couple of times its just the we are i dont think its anything to do with loving less its just one of those things which just happens.However, i can advise you to accept you have to keep on trying to make you call you my girls sometimes just texts saying can you call me pliz sometimes i call right awaysometimes i take long but most of the times i feel guilty and end up calling before she texts or even calls.i hope this will help.All the best
As a man, I feel that your wanting him to telephone you every day is excessive.

However, since I am 32 and have never even had a date and probably never will, I would not place too much importance on the advice of one such self-loathing individual.
Ive been in this one,so bear with me.Men and women communicate on different levels. Women approach a relationship as the groundwork of their lives and everything somehow is woven into the fabric.Men in most cases see a relationship as part of their lives but not the totality.Women mature emotionally at a much more accelerated pace ;partly by socialization and involvement with other women.Men on the other hand are geared to see other males as competition and as such have less frequent close relationships.This behavior carries over into all aspects of ';maleness';.There is a lot of technospeak on the biology of this but the fact remains that most men have an ingrained loner part and also are uncomfortable at admitting to being emotionally underprepared.Its not that we dont need to talk but that most of us just dont know how to keep the momentum going .
he having a rough time talking with you.. communication doesnt always have to be difficult or via words.. get to know each other better by getting out and doing stuff.. eventually he'll spill his guts to you.. just get him more comfortable..peace
The issue here is try to examine yourself,you are insecure,men does not like women who are insecure,asking more of his time is a sign of insecurity.Men likes women who are secure and not just demanding much of his time.you appeal more sexy to a man if you are not stealing his time.If a man really loves you,he does all the effort to please you and make you happy...what drives away men if you ask too much of their time and you suffocate them..Your being insecure drives him away,,,take it from me,i interviewed thousands of men on this issue...

Dating a military man?some advice?

since a couple of weeks ive been talking to a guy who is in the marines.he is stationed in california.ive kinda fallen head over heels for him and from what i can tell he feels the same.hes coming back to my his hometown (we both live in the same city) in about 3 weeks.we made plans that we will see each other. but i do know that he is going to afghanistan for seven months next year. im just afraid that im falling in love with him and what would i do if we were in a relationship and he would get deployed ?

any advice for me?how often would we have contact? how do you guys do it who have boyfriend/husband oversees in the military?Dating a military man?some advice?
Take these things into consideration before getting too involved!

Easy question! NextDating a military man?some advice?
damn. honestly id advise u to try and not fall too deeply in love with him cz he might die, especially afganistan, + if he comes back, trust me its gonna be hard 2 live a normal life with a military guy. he might be too controling, strict etc... but thats just tha negative side of it. if you already love him alot then u can give it a chance.
Military personnel have a very transient lifestyle and to maintain a relationship is not easy for either party. If you want a guy to be around and available all the time then a military man is not for you and you should be honest with him about it.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlm鈥?/a>

That forum ^^ can help you any questions. A lot of them have been married for 2 years or more and have been in similar situations. They will be able to support you and get your questions answered better than yahoo.

Good luck!
it could turn out good you never know and what would it hurt it would help him to have a easyer time over there but it up to you and how you feel
awww.. his a marine

you should be proud of him

oh anyways

how often would we have contact?

its all where his stationed

may not have internet ....may have internet
Don't do it. Military dudes are ***** who have nothing better to do with their lives than start trouble, and he'll beat you up.
day by day.

its hard

but if its worth it,

go for it

they like to know who their fighting for %26lt;3
If he is an enlisted soldier do you want to live in poverty your whole life?
Give him lots of felash, he's serving our country!!!!
Hope for the best, that's all I can say.
run away!!!!!!! he will cheat and be abussive!
ps. dont cheat
i think you have to consider first is your feelings.. if you like then go, if not.. dont have date.. its simple right??
I had a very similar situation.

I went to highschool with this guy (who is now my husband) and he's in the Army. He was overseas before we started dating and just happened to write me on myspace and ask me on a date when he was on leave. We went on that one date and have been together ever since (He's still stationed in New York and I live here in Alabama)

I am incredibly lucky that my husband won't have to go back overseas (and will be completely out of the Army in about 8 months)

I can't imagine how hard it would be if he had to go back overseas.

I was the same way you were, I was so afraid to fall in love with my now husband because I knew how bad it would hurt both of us if he had to go back overseas (him being 1000 miles away is hard enough!)

But honestly, there's no way I could have stopped myself from falling in love with him even if I tried (and you can't either).

The way I see it, I would rather have him (and be hurt by the distance..ect) than to be hurting because I didn't have him at all.

You would most likely have very little contact with him when he's overseas.

My advice for you would be to meet him in person (like you planned) and just come straight out and ask him how he feels about you and whether or not he'd like to continue the relationship while he's overseas, or if he's willing to wait until he gets back to start an actual ';relationship';.

Good Luck. I feel for you. I know how it is, and believe me it is no fun sometimes, but if you love each other enough, then you can definately make it through 7 months of him being overseas.
Well having lived in a navy town most of my life, and then serving myself and being stationed overseas i can safely say. that you need to find out a couple things about himself, yourself and other things.

for one thing. a military lifstyle for enlisted families ( i say families in reguards to relationships) are usualy best fitted with people who are ok with the term ';absense makes the heart grow fonder'; the average term for an overseas deployment such as the middle east can be anywhere from a year.. yes a year. to several years depending on his job, he can take leave depending on the situation of his command, and how many days of leave he has acrued. youd need to ask him about that stuff.

the question you really need to ask yourself is, can you wait for him if/when he leaves. theres more than a couple horror stories ive heard in my time in the service of a fellow shipmate having his GF/wife etc writting him a letter or simply sending him a notice saying ';ive emptied our bank account, sign this divorce paper and youll be rid of me cause im with someone else now spending your paycheck';

Not saying youd do that in any way, but those types of people never got into the relationship with the information and understanding that they would be sepperated from their significant other for an extended period of time, they got bored, or they got lonely, and some started to hate their husbands for being gone so long as if it was somehow his fault they wouldnt ship him home for some family time.

adding to this. alot of younger military end up getting married or engaged right out of bootcamp or job school aka A-school, their young, confident and all in all, not very smart when it comes to thinking of the future in these things. and a majority of these marrages end up trashed.

I dont write this stuff to scare you, but its important you think about these things, i suggest talking to a couple of the VETERAN marines wives in the area and find out these things, show them this letter if need be to put them on the same page as you are feeling wise.

i say veteran military wives because they have been there, and know how hard it can be sometimes, if one of them says ';oh its been great, have some kids to keep you company'; or something.. ignore that one and find another one.

I can safely say that with my significant other, we found eachother after i had been deployed and could relate what kinds of things would happen person to person, and she understood this from the start, shes the type that can go for a while without me, shes strong and self reliant like a good military wife needs to be sometimes. all in all the relationship hasnt gone badly. although sometimes it can be hard with a phonecall in your 15th month abroad whispering ';i miss you';

Ask around and find these things out, ask him also, his MGS or whomever is in charge of his division/platoon etc if you can, and THEIR wifes also. this is a really tight nit group of people and im sure they will be willing to talk to you about all the aspects of this.
i am a Marine and personally i don't like long distance relationships because i've had too many women lie to me. About your question, i haven't been deployed yet but i don't think you'll be able to talk over the telephone but i do know that they still receive e-mails so you'll be able to talk through that. Not sure how often he'll be able to check it; sorry i can't be more help.

also you peoplel who say that he'll abuse her are retarded, and if you're going by movies that you seen then your even more retarded, if you're going by experience then you deserved it for being retarded. From what i've seen most of us are nice, we are just a bit whore-ish.
Its tough when their deployed but not as tough as it used to be thanks to modern technology. They are still able to keep in contact through computers and such you probably wouldn't be able to talk to him everyday but they try to make it easier on them especially those with wives and children back home. If you really care for him im sure you can make it through. But you also have to know that if you get involved with someone in the military you will have to deal with this same situation more then once. If this is something you think you can endure for years or even his whole career then it may be worth it. It really depends on how much you care about him and how much your willing to go through to be with him. Being the wife of a military man is hard especially if you are not used to moving around.

beauty cosmetics

In need of man love advice?

Alright, so Ive been talking to this guy I ve had a mad crush on for about a month, he passed by my job a few nights ago, then actually called up to my job, to say ';hi'; then yesterday he called me on my cell phone, and we talked for over four hours, and the first thing he says during the conversation is..';So how do you feel about me'; ';Do you see me as your man,boyfriend, husband, friend';, and I told him I have to go out with him and see first, and he says well I'm not really looking for a relationship, but If I'm around a woman and she makes me happy then I'm all for it, I just dont like when a woman pressures me'; I said Okay well no one is putting any pressure on you'; and the thing is he always bring this up to me during our conversation..when I never even bring it up,then he bring it up again, 'So how do you feel about me'; later on during the conversation, I tell him again, we need to go out and feel each other vibe, and then hes like ';Oh well lets go out tonight';then..and I ask him what kind of music like, and he names every artist that I like..what is the deal?Why is asking me this question so fast??And on his facebook page, he deleted content with some of his female friends had sent him hugs and stuff, and whenver a female leaves a photo comment he never responds...I dont get this guyIn need of man love advice?
To be honest I think he's trying to create his facebook to scream AVAILABLE yet he seems like oen of those men who would be controlling in a relationship and want everything their way. He shows that he is uinto you so thats a good sign but if he's going to be that neurotic even about his facebook maybe you should consider if he's really worth your time. Hope this helps,

Jessica:.:...

Ex of my man question/advice?

My soon to be hubby (Sept 6th) was married 14 yrs. Ex wife is absolutely gorgeous, but a biach! So he tells me he does not love her, wants nothing to do with, etc..he never talks to her on the phone, in fact, if he has to call her (re: their kids) he will text her cell (something like ';I will pick up the kids at 10) so he does not have to talk to her. After their divorce, they had reconciled for 7 months, but soon realized it was NOT going to work and ended it for good. (Divorce was in 2006) She has a bf, but I feel like she wants to mess with us. She is the type who is SO vain she wants him to want her. Well anyway, one night she was fighting with her bf and at 2am (after the bar, drinking) she texted my man ';that's it. I'm moving out. It's over'; (talking about her fight with her bf) my man read it and texted back ';Are my kids OK?'; and he told me about the text immediately. So my question, what are your thoughts or feedback??? Is she playing games? She seems in love with her current man...

Help?Ex of my man question/advice?
It sounds like your fiance is making the best of a bad situation. Every time she pulls a stunt like that he remembers why he divorced her! She is still looking to get some sort of reaction out of him and he's not playing.Ex of my man question/advice?
LET HIM DEAL WITH HIS EX AND TRUST HE WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU UNTIL HE PROVES OTHERWISE..THIS IS UNNECESSARY WORRY AND STRESS ON YOU..DONT MAKE UP DRAMA..EVERYBODY HAS HAD SOMEBODY B4 THEY MOVE ON TO SOMEONE NEW SO ACCEPT HE HAS A PAST AND JUST TRUST YOU ARE HIS PRESENT AND HE IS MAN ENOUGH TO JUGGLE HIS PAST AND HIS PRESENT
ex spouses have their own world together especially when children are involved. You can never truly know what's up. Don't be fooled.
Who knows what she's after. But looks like your man is perfectly OK, so nothing to worry about.
let the soon to be hubby deal with his ex

Hows my best man speech? (Advice welcome)?

When I asked Phil how he wanted his best man's speech to go he said he wanted it to be funny, and so all the time we’ve spent together means that he’s had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, whilst I have tried to make this speech funny, it really is Phils fault if it’s not.

So Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day. It’s been an emotional day for us all, ……..even the cake is in tiers..(look at Phil thumbs up) On behalf of the bridesmaids, I would like to thank Phil for his kind words. For once in my life, I find myself agreeing with him - they look beautiful and have done an excellent job today, and only rightly outshone by our bride, Sandra..And, I'm sure you'll agree with me guys, today is a sad day for us single men, as another beauty becomes unavailable. And well ladies, eh em moving on.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Chris. I’ve been Phil's best friend for nearly 10 years now.

I know a lot of people here are probably wondering “just what does Sandra see in Phil?”

Well I have known him a long time and too be fair….I don’t know either!

it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest I just wanted to make it as easy as possible.

The obvious place seemed to be the Internet,

After a couple of hours searching I found some REALLY good stuff , but ....then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for tips on Best Man speeches and I did actually find LOADS of ready-prepared good speeches . but sadly, NONE of them were about a couple called Phil and Sandra ....so I ended up having to do it myself

Ive known Phil since College, we first met in a small pub called Quinns where we spent most of our lessons, he was the Geordie Fonz back then a bit of a ladies man always being surround by women

I think it was because he had a really distinctive taste in fashion and well, being young and impressionable, I started to copy him in the sorts of things he used to wear - until my mum went mad at me for going though her wardrobe.

in some ways over the years you could say I've been like a father figure to him. Ive watched him drink from a bottle, I watched him stagger around naked, I watched him crawl around on the floor, I've dressed and undressed him, cleaned up after him … and that was only last night!

I think me and Pete have done a great job getting Phil her today sober, on time and good looking .. well compared to what I had to work with this morning two out of three ain't bad.

My only one disappointment would have to failing to arrange his last request as a single man - due to strong protests from those do-gooders at the Stanley Sheep Protection Council. I tried my best Phil.

I do believe that marriage is a wonderful thing for Phil. It will teach him loyalty, self-restraint and control. It will him develop a sense of responsibility, fair play and so many other qualities he wouldn't need if he had just stayed single.

There is also a card from those guys from the golf club. It says, ‘Phil was useless in all positions but we hope Sandra has more luck with him later’ not sure what that means but anyway…

On a more serious note, Phil you both looked fantastic today, we have had some excellent times together over the years mate, and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You have been a great friend to me and I feel like i've gained a new friend, and it really is a great honour to be your best man, and I wish both Sandra and you every happiness for the future.

Ladies and Gentlemen, May I now ask you to stand, and it gives me great pleasure ask you to raise your glasses in a toast to Phil and Sandra, the new Mr and Mrs Miller. We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage.Hows my best man speech? (Advice welcome)?
I can tell you have put alot of effort into writing this. The funny bits are usual wedding type jokes, but comical all the same. I like how you have got the serious along with the funny bits, it represents your relationship with Phil, that you are close friends. I'm sure the bride and groom will love it :)Hows my best man speech? (Advice welcome)?
wow perfect! I reallly enjoyed reading that ;L have a good day when it comes (: i liked the fact you have funny parts but parts on a more serious note, nice nice. (:
Who the hell are you trying to be? Jim Davidson?
honestly...it sucks....ladies and gentlemen makes you sound like a flight attendant, unless this wedding takes place on a plane, change it to something more bouncy and fun!

- Make fun of the groom in a humourous way, tell the bride how beautiful she looks and how lucky she is

- be funny

- but after a few laughs the funny needs to become serious and moving!

- do not talk about yourself unless the groom (or bride) is involved in the story

- 1 crude story, not too crude...lol would be pretty cool to have!

Good luck!
Yes i have read through it. The way you talk about him in the past and introduce yourself for the people who may not know who you are is very important and also very effective. The speech is funny when you talk about when you first met Phil as a youngster and when you copied his unique sense of fashion.

On my behalf id like to say that what you are saying is perfect because it is going to make everyone who is present laugh. Also talking about times in the past is commonly used and works wonderfully well because people get a brief idea of what the groom can be like as you mentioned you have '; cleaned him up';.

The most important advice i can offer for you is that when you are about to say the speech, be laid back with a happy face and do not show any tension and i promise that you will enjoy the speech. Imagine the guests are watching you and be calm laid back and continue to tell your funny jokes and i can assure you it will work out just fine.

Question on my man.. need advice??

Me and my boyfriend of 5 months have a GREAT relationship.. well until this girl that used to like him came back into the picture.. Recently she's been putting up things about him such as ';oh I love mike!'; And putting him as her #2 on MySpace.. and then he changes his.. he doesn't approve my comments anymore or anything and tells me its ';MySpace, it's drama and I don't care about it. My page messes up'; He doesn't check it often.. Well I've been getting real paranoid lately.. When I ask him about her he says, ';don't believe what you read, she's psycho, I would be with her if I wanted her that bad.'; He lives about 35-40 minutes away from us because me and her live in the same area.. He said he couldn't ';afford doing that and it's morally wrong';.. But blah I don't know what to believe.. I ALWAYS ask about it and he's getting tired of it saying ';is this going to be an everyday thing? Learn to trust me';

What do you guys, girls think...??Question on my man.. need advice??
omg. the same thing happenned with me a little while ago.

you have to try to talk to him [[really talk to him about it]] if he still trys to avoid the subject, then break up with him. but if he really explains then you should trust him.

I need a man's advice, i am in love with someone and i told them and i havent heard back from them?

ok so here is my deal i have had a friend w bene's for like 4 years and being a woman i fell in love with him. He knew how i felt before i have told him many many times. so a few days ago i asked him how he felt and i got a txt saying ';you know the deal ect'; i dont want to go into the whole thing! but ne way i was pretty nasty to him and said some mean things but then i apologized but still havent heard back from him. Now he works alot like 80 hours a week so its not unusual for him not to text me right back but i emailed him today and laid everything out for him and told him id give him time to think about it. I know he has feelings for me im just not sure what to do next. Should i not talk to him let him think things through? do you think hes mad cause i asked him how he felt about me? im so confused and i love this man. im 28 and hes 29I need a man's advice, i am in love with someone and i told them and i havent heard back from them?
After seven days, give it up.I need a man's advice, i am in love with someone and i told them and i havent heard back from them?
Just leave him alone.You probably will never hear from him again.He obviously doesn't want anymore than a friends/w/benefits or if he does he doesn't want it with you.Sorry.Good luck
If he felt the same way about you he would not be putting it off.

Pregnant by married man/manager...advice?!?!?

So I am a young, single mother to a 5-month old boy. In may I got into a relationship with my manager at work and thought God had finally brought me a wonderful guy.

Well, to make a long story short--despite regular condom usage, I found out 3 days ago that I'm pregnant. And, to make matters worse, I also found out that he is married with 2 damn kids.

Of course, when I told him he told me that 1) it wasn't his baby and 2) to lose his phone number because if I call he isn't going to answer.

So, judgement aside because I already know where I screwed up....I am against abortion and would like to give this child up for adoption. However, I am wondering if there are homes/places/arrangements that can be made so that the pregnancy can be kept secret?

%26amp; is there anything I can do to force some type of help out of him, because I'm going to need it---even if its something as simple as him paying for childcare for my son while i am in Labor.Pregnant by married man/manager...advice?!?!?
Hi,

Like you asked I am not judging here. We all know we all one screw up more than once. SO here are some ideas that I hope can help you and also don't feel as if you are all alone on this.

About giving up the baby for adoption.

Being at the other end, a woman who was looking to adopt, I find that this website :

http://www.americanadoptions.com

seemed to have a very caring, warm approach to both the mother and potential parents.

They have tons of effective charitable comforting ideas/resources.

Please do try to get in touch with them, take a look at the website first. They do not judge they just want to give all of us women, in whichever side of the adoption line you are, the best chance and support.

About the father. I am NOT a lawyer but this said here are my 2 cents.

I am going to be pretty blunt, IF you are 100% sure he is the father, you CAN leagally have him take a paternity test. He has to comply. If he DOES NOT WANT TO DO IT, in most states the judge may order directly for him to pay full child support, until the child is 18. Or at least in your case some expenses until you put the baby up for adoption.

You would have to look for /some organization that can represent you legally with no cost to you or a lwayer acting pro bono. as hiring any laywer can be very costly, perhaps also check your City/State Assistance or some Women organization/Lawyers in your town/state that help unwed mothers ';pro bono'; , that means they will represent you for Free, as a volunteer for people who can not affor legal counsel.

You may want to check this site's forum on Paternity Law, you may also post questions there and lawyers will answer them :

http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/forumdis鈥?/a>

I wish you the best of luckPregnant by married man/manager...advice?!?!?
well if possible and you want to keep the child he will have to pay child support and he will be ordered to do a paternity test to prove he is the father as that is how it is done then when they say it is his he will have to pay child support but as to paying for your son well he has no responsibility in that so i would not hide it cause if he is doing it with you on his wife he is doing to his wife with other people
now he's not resposible for your other son who was paying childcare for him before you got pregnant but if i was you I would tell his wife about the whle pregnancy and you can also sue him for support and his wife since he want to play you like that
I'm sure there are a few adoptive parents out there who would be willing to help you out financially %26amp; house you while you're pregnant provided you sign iron-clad paperwork that you won't reneg on your end of the deal (giving them the baby).
Your pregnancy is a secret unless you tell people NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO RELEASE PERSONAL INFO%26gt; You can also have them sign a contact to keep it private. as for the father He is already claiming its not his kid and he can fight that till a paternity test is done and then depending on where you live he can fight you for the child. I know the reason why you are having the kid sucks but think you might need to think about the fact is its still your child alot of people have major regrets after giving the child up. GL in your choice
omg, what a dirt bag ..i'm sorry you got involved with such a crap guy but I would tell his wife because it's not fair for her to be with someone who is unfaithful and is irresponsible. She might make him to the right thing by being by you side through all this. It takes two to get pregnant and you didn't do this to yourself so you shouldn't have to deal with it alone. Tell him he can help you with support or his wife will be informed lol

as for adoption ...speak to a local agency and make sure you really have time to think about all this because you might feel differently when you actually have the baby!! good luck with everything!!!
There isn't much you can make him do and if you push it, you could be in danger. The adoption agency can probably help you out. I hope that you aren't making this decision based on him. Make sure that you are doing this with the best intentions. Giving a child to a couple that cannot have children is very noble, but there is serious consequences for all. Adopted children always have a feeling of abandonment. If you already have a baby, you know the feelings you have right after giving birth. I'm not trying to talk you out of it by any means, but am just suggesting that you make sure that you are doing this in YOUR best interest and not the sperm donors.

beauty cosmetics

I need a man's advice?

My boyfriend left for a weekend trip while he was still mad at me. He hugged %26amp; kissed me bye but it seemed forced. I asked if he was mad, he said ';kinda'; and that I was being a ***** the night before. That was yesterday and he wont return my calls or text. I got him on the phone today but he didnt sound like he wanted to talk and got off pretty quickly. What do I do now?! I want to resolve this so badly, i hate us not speaking especially when he is far from home. do i give him space? if so, how long? what is too much to put up with if he is simply being a jerk? he is putting me through hell right now, not knowing when he is coming home and if i still have a boyfriend.I need a man's advice?
Leave him alone until he gets back. I doubt he's going to run away if it's just a weekend trip, like you said. (Although I wonder, if it is a weekend trip, why are you concerned about when he's coming home?) Give him the weekend to cool off. If he's annoyed with you he probably doesn't want to talk to you right now and pestering him is just going to make it worse. Trust me I understand wanting to resolve something, but you can resolve it when he gets back and chances are, if you've given him some space and time to cool off, it will be much easier to resolve it. In the meantime find some way to distract yourself. Vent to a friend if you need to to keep yourself from talking to him.I need a man's advice?
break up, when a guy doesnt want to resolve a fight he is ether cheating or just an @sshole and your not going to have a good relationship. so just break up and move on. trust me. iv seen to many girls go through the same thing
Just give him a little space. If you are bugging him a lot that will just probably inflame the fire. Just wait till he gets back to talk about it.
love is unconditional when its true.

GIRLS: Is this man's advice to me accurate, or should I disreguard it?

I found this a little earlier and was wondering if you guys agree.

_____

OK old guy to young guy.

ASK THEM ALL. When in doubt ask the girl.

Life is simple and most of us guys don't get it until we are too old. So keep this in mind.

Boys ask girls out. Girls get to say yes or no. What you don't know is girls worry that boys won't ask them. And they want boys to ask. They even want boys to ask that they will tell no as it makes them feel 'wanted'.

But the real secret is if you notice a girl then she has probably worked really hard to have you notice her. So don't make a big deal...don't fret...just go up and say hello. If she talks back nice ask her to see her again.

Wish I'd have believed this advice years ago.

But keep in mind some will say no. It is not the end of the world it is her doing her job. So don't let it hurt. And the next one that catches your eye..ask her...and the next and the next.

________________________

Accurate?GIRLS: Is this man's advice to me accurate, or should I disreguard it?
yep. very true.

i wish every boy knew this.GIRLS: Is this man's advice to me accurate, or should I disreguard it?
Yes, I think that is a very good attitude actually.
very accurate!
YES!
omg so trueeeeeeeee
yeh it is
wow that is so true, i'm a girl and i'm kinda like that in a way..
extremly

but ive never been asked..

what do u have to say about that?

I need a man's advice please?

I was talking to this guy for a few months. Yes, we had amazing sex. Oh, man was the sex amazing!!!!!! Okay... we loved each other. Only because we have history....

One thing that I learn is that just because we make good friends, doesn't mean we will be good in a relationship. We had lots of chemistry around each other. But when we were away from each other, it was like we were back to being friends.I couldn't open up to him anymore. At the same time, I had a lot of concerns and issues (about us) that I tried to talk to him about it, but all he did was brush me off and not call back that day. Or gloss over it and act like everything is normal. At times I play along and act as if everything was cool. It was as if he didn't want to face it. He wanted this relationship!! I was frustrated with him. I got so confused that I broke it off because I got tired of being confused.

I am still confused so I want to get some advice. If you need more details. Please ask.I need a man's advice please?
Yes, I need another important detail: What's your friggin' question?!

~~~~~~~~~~~

You might be reading too much into the situation. Perhaps the guy was tired, or perhaps he had a bad day - wasn't feeling well, had a headache, rough day at the rock quarry; etc.

If the behavior persists, *then* there might be something to it. Otherwise, don't pick apart every little alleged slight.I need a man's advice please?
yeah ok so whats the problem your a woman your confused thats natural

geeze quit trying to turn him into your girlfriend

hes a guy

Older woman, Younger man...Need advice from married people..??

I am in my 30's and at a stage in my life where I need to settle down and get married, but my boyfriend is younger, 20's, and is understandably not ready for marriage....

He keeps asking me to please wait for him to get older, more established in his career, and go through school, and he should be ready to get married in between 2-5 years....

I dont want to wait, because I'm not getting any younger and whose to say, he will marry me, or even want me after I wait, he'll still be young, and I'll be looking crazy ! and then I could be waiting more years than what he told me, but I love him and I feel he's my soul mate, and he is begging me to wait for him and be patient...

what should I do ? I'm ready to be happy now...

what has been your experience..??Older woman, Younger man...Need advice from married people..??
Since you want different things out of life you need to move on. Be thankful he isn't the type to just give and marry you because you want it.

Try not to stay with him just because you think he is the one. That is ';co-dependant'; thinking and very harmful to you as an individual. There are other men out there that can offer you what you need now, not in 2-5 years.

But, on the other hand, don't be on the prowl for a husband, either. you're likely to find some needy guy who will rush you down the aisle. Just get out there a met new people and give yourself time to get over this relationship first, before starting a new one. You owe that to your future guy.

I think you already know the right answer, you need another person to tell you you're on the right track.Older woman, Younger man...Need advice from married people..??
He's too young. You need to find someone who is at your level of maturity and shares your desire for something more permanent.
You can't force him to marry you now....and if you can't wait until he is ready...then move on....I am almost 42...Hubby is 34....and we just had a baby a year ago....We knew each other almost a year before dating....and we got married a few months later....Give your boyfriend some credit for knowing that he isn't quite ready for marriage...After all he is only in his early 20's....

He really has no right to keep begging you to wait for him either.....if you truly feel that you need to move on...then do so....Your relationship will only work if the both of you can agree on a compromise...
You need to ask yourself one simple question.

Which is more important to you; to be married or to be with this man that you love and consider your soulmate?

For me, this answer would be easy. I would rather be with the one I love. But for some, marriage is very important to them So it just depends on your priorities. Good luck....
You need to move on. He is too young. Find someone who is ready.
Well, this is the lot you chose, so you have to deal with that. I think it's unfair to pressure him into marriage, especially when he has made it clear that he is not ready. As for the soul mate crap. It's just crap. No such thing as soul mates. He has already stated what he wants and that's for you to wait. So, all you can do is decide to wait, with no certainty of a future marriage or move on.
ask yourself this do i love him and does he love me if the answer is yes then you are very lucky.

in 2008 30's r the new 20's a woman is expected to live to her upper 90's so be patient

Help! I need some advice for getting a grown mans' attention?

I'm going to a NKOTB concert and need to get Donnie Wahlberg's attention...so, I got this LED Scrolling Belt Buckle. It can have to 6 messages...would should those 6 messages say?Help! I need some advice for getting a grown mans' attention?
';my Vah-jay-jay has just been rejuvenated just for you';

';you're hotter than Marky Mark';

';i want your Hangin' Tough';

';i am a virgin';Help! I need some advice for getting a grown mans' attention?
Donnie I have a bearded taco for you to snack on

Hey Donnie hairPie buffet open just for you

Property of Donnie^

Donnie wanna play hide the salami

Donnie I have a muff do you want to dive

Donnie I will blow your……………………………………..mind
Donnie I hear you can't last 8 seconds.

I'm the bull lets see

my muffin needs someone to bit it.

I love you long time

I go down on the first date.
1. I swallow

2. I swallow

3. I swallow

4. I swallow

5. I swallow

6. I swallow

That pretty much gets 'em every time :)
LOL.

';Now serving all-you-can-eat crabs and cottage cheese';

';Party in my pants and Donnie is invited';

';Hit this s-hit below the belt, Donnie Wahlberg';
Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

Oh

Hangin tough
I am always available for you donny
Just wear a lacy white bra under a sheer black top, and stand under a black light.

Or throw your thong at him.
DonniePuckMe
';I want your Crabs!';

';Mark said you have a small dlck, prove me wrong';

';I wanna hang tough off your junk';

';Tiffany and Debbie Gibson are waiting for us in my van';
';I'm Really A Man'; should get his attention....
whip em out that's what every other chick does... so if you don't he's just gonna look at the other 40 girls who are :) lol
listen to muffin

beauty cosmetics

Need a man's advice. women can answer too?

I have a problem trying to get a serious relationship. This always happens to me. I went out on a date last night. The man was very nice and we got along great. We never ran out of things to talk about. We cooked and watched movies. Thing is we are both shy and I thought we would be uncomfortable around each other but we weren't. However, when he was taking me home last night he told me he still had feelings for another woman who dumped him back in Janurary. Yes I knew this was a red flag. I got a note from hom on my messenger this morning saying he had some things within his soul that he needed to figure out and he needed some time. I am an attractive person. I am a good cook and I am a good listener and conversationist. My question is why does this keep happening to me? What am I doing wrong? No smart alleck answers please cuz I really could use some advice. ThanksNeed a man's advice. women can answer too?
Because you're too good of a cook, listener and conversationalist.

Especially, you're too attractive for them

Don't worry, you'll find someone who can handle you.

Will not feel insecure around you.

You will find someone worthy of you.Need a man's advice. women can answer too?
kiddo dating sucks big time and sometimes you have to just keep at it until you get the right one..its like a freaking lottery. my ex mother in law says that '; you sometimes keep going out with the same kinda people'; i think i'm doing the same thing too.
relationships.....they are true only when its both side.... so doesnt matter he has interest in you or not.... if you feel that you have to leave him just do it.... n dont ever think of him.... coz its your life.... if you have good soul all ll come towards you....you dont need to search for serious relationships....just go on.... taste everything...all kinda relationships have some excitements.....feel it.... hav fun....
Maybe it is not you and really the guys you are picking.... Maybe you should try some one different some one that you would not usually date! That use to kinda happen to me so I went out side my box and totally dropped all things that I looked for in a guy and started dating a country farm boy and usually I went for the tough city boys...... Try something new!
Let me honesty with you. You have not done anything wrong. In real life, things will happen the way you did not expect it to be, so I suggest you to give him time to reconsider the fact he is dealing now and see what will happen.
idk what ur doin wong..lol

jus keep lookin and dont fall for anyone to quick...
where are you meeting these men? i have always made a rule that i only go out with people that i know or have got to know through friends who will say ';yeah, hes uright'; or whatever, im not saying thats fool proof but it gives you a bit more insite into the person your with. Also are you bearing your sole to these men? I think you would be better not having them back to your house or cooking for them i think you should meet someone out for a meal or drink and then part your ways at the end, at a coutship should not be rushed and i suspect this is what your doing. But whatever happens do not allow this man back into your life because if you do you will end up with heart ache. you find a man that gives you 100% take no less you deserve the best and good luck. Also i might just add that if you were to go on this site www.seducemen.co.uk you will get some great ideas, theres a forum and an expert that you can put this question to. good luck
Give it time....you just haven't met the right person yet. Obviously this guy is still not over an ex and at least he was honest and told you that. You are not doing anything wrong at all. It is all part of the dating process...sometimes it works out other times it doesn't.
MAYBE E THOUGH YOUR WERE TO PERFECT FOR HIM. OR HE WANTED MORE FROM YOU BUT HE PROBLEM KNEW YOU WERENT GOING TO GIVE IT TO HIM.... ITS ONE OF THOSE PHASES YOU WILL GO THRU LIFE THAT YOU FEEL LIKE NO1 WANTS YOU OR YOU THINK SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU...TRUST ME I KNOW HOW IT FEELS IM IN THE SAME PERDICAMENT
It sounds like you've been in similar situations in the past. But for this particular case, I wonder if you should worry about something being wrong with YOU. From what you said, i think you're just fine. As he told you, he might just feel hurt from his previous relationship and is scared of being hurt again-this happen to men too. Don't despair; just give him some time. Stay around him and show him that you're different. If you can get him to trust again and to believe in love, it can work. My guess is all you need is time and a lot of care. Now it's yours to make it work. love's a fight; don't give up.
what did you cook?
Maybe it's where your meeting these people?
You need to start acting a little like ';You are lucky to be with me'; Don't make yourself so available. Play hard to get. Tease him. Talk a little dirty, not ugly dirty, but things with a double meaning. Lick your lips. Gently touch your cleavage, get sexy Girl!!! Make him WANT you!
Kathryn: Sounds to me like you look for the wrong type of men (shy like you). The old saying goes opposites attract try a more outgoing fellow and see what develops. Also if this was a 1st date dinner OUT and a MOVIE OUT would have been better than cooking and watching at his or your home. It's better to be on neutral turf early on in a budding/developing relationship. PEACE!
It's just coincidence. you'll find someone eventually, just make sure to dump them if they have feelings for someone else. Please Email me what the heck is smart alleck i hear it too much. Why won't they say smart @ss?
He's not over the last one.

I'm having the same problem with my girlfriend and its about to break us up.

Take Care
I think your going wrong when you say...your trying to get a serious relationship.

Are you perhaps ';trying'; too hard? Could you be giving off the notion that your looking for serious with the guys you meet too soon?

I would say serious is a natural progression in relationships when all things are right for both parties.

Try just concentrating on the fun aspects first of all.

The guy from lastnight....maybe he was telling the truth and he realised he was still in love with someone else....but he didnt realise it fully until lastnight....so thats not your fault, its just one of these things, however not nice it is for you. I broke with my girl, 9 weeks ago, beginning of January, i have spoken to a few people over that time, and I did once consider going on a date, but in the end I couldnt go ahead with it because I still have my heart with her, and it would be wrong of me to lead someone on when ultimately im not interested in anyone else. I think you may need to repsect that and understand that it wasnt necessarily personal against you.
I honestly can't see what you did wrong maybe you shouldn't try to get into a relationship just date around go on a lot of dates with different guys and you'll find one that will think the world of you. just keep playing the field cause you seem to have done everything right.
You do not do anything wrong. And nothing is wrong with you. Well, he still had feelings for another girl and that is more than enough not to have a realtionship with him.

You just need to be yourself and I am sure that right guy comes to you. At least this is what I think about my self (of course I am waiting for right girl)
just ease up ..... first dates are not time to discuss relationships

they are time to enjoy or at least look into the other person

sit back and let the relationship come to you
he's probably trying to prove that he's an emotional type of guy in front of you
You're finding the wrong men. This isn't your fault, but the men you are attracted to who are attracted to you have a lot of excess baggage. You don't need that in your life, and you certainly don't want to be the rebound girl.

If you have a lot to offer, keep flaunting it. Remain positive. The right guy will be attracted to your confidence, and you'll finally find someone. But these things don't happen overnight. You may have to wait a long time. I had two long term relationships, both of them which ended in me being cheated on, so I know where you're coming from. You wonder what you did wrong when in reality, it's not you, it's them. But there's hope -- I have a great guy now who is completely devoted to me. Keep positive, and good things will come.
get a dog they would use and abuse your conversations
are you fat?

Need a man's advice: do you think my ex's problems at school are a result of our breakup?

I am a senior in high school and my entire junior year, I was dating this guy. It was the most serious relationship I've ever had, and we were each others first loves. He was kind of a ';schoolboy'; and he got mad if I didn't go to school or if I got high or drunk. So during our relationship, I didn't do any of those things for him. We broke up because we were kindof suffocating each other with jealousy. He was actually the one who broke up with me. Our breakup was pretty dramatic, and after it happened he started skipping 2-3 days out of the week. He also started doing drugs. He would do things to get me jealous and he even made another myspace and added me as a girl, but I realized he was behind it so I deleted it. He had a new girlfriend but for a long time he continued playing games with me, acting like he still loved me but then pulling away. To be honest,I did the same thing without realizing till later. People kept telling me that he would talk about me and so I approached him about it twice and he finally stopped. Anyways, I cut him off totally for a few months and things got better. Now, we're both in relationships, but we remain friends. A few weeks ago I didn't want to go home so I stayed the night at his house and we just talked and listened to music. Then we ended up getting really drunk and we didn't do anything sexual but we fell asleep holding each other. But anyway, he still skips but now it's almost every day, and he's not going to graduate on time. %26amp; now I realized that I too skip a lot(not as much as he does though) and I might not graduate on time either! Although I am doing what needs to be done to graduate, while he just stopped coming to school.

Do you think it has something to do with what went on between us, or do we just both have similar problems?

PS: people have said that it seems like he's trying to deal with our break up through drugs because he still loves me, but I'm not sure because he seems like he really cares about his girlfriend.

%26amp; No, I'm not into drugs anymore. Just him. So please don't be rude.Need a man's advice: do you think my ex's problems at school are a result of our breakup?
well i think he still loves you and he is trying to cover it up so if u still like him ask him out ur self and see what he saysNeed a man's advice: do you think my ex's problems at school are a result of our breakup?
You cut him off totally and things got better.

----Need a MAN'S advice---?

1- There is not sex involved in this situation

2-This was just a no strings attached situation

3-We actually got along very well together because we had many things in common, culture, work, religion etc

So i met this guy and on the first date we went to the movies

On the second date we hung out at his home and ate taco bell then made out a bit NO SEX

after our second get together i drove back to his home cause i had accidently picked up his earphones...i left them in an evelope at his door cause i didnt want to disturb him with a note

i got an email from him saying thanx and that i didnt have to bring the earphones back...and he asked me if i drove all they way back to return the earphones...and that it was a great time etc etc

---all this was 3 weeks ago....i have not heard from him since....i have not seen him COME ONLINE since....as well....because whenever i glance at my buddy list he was usually on...and now he doesnt even come on.....i sent a one liner two weeks ago which said Where did you disappear off to?.....no reply

I DO HAVE HIS NUMBER but dont plan on contacting him....im not despo.....or needy....it was a no strings attached type of thing anyway...

The only thing that bothers me is that we both actually had a lot of things in common...like religion, work, hobbies, etc etc....we would have good conversations...and the most we did was make out...NO SEX

why would a guy just dissapear off the radar with no explanation?%26gt;

I dont plan to contact him via phone....

its just a bit bizzare dont u think?

have u ever done this to a girl?

what could be the reason?

we are both 30yrs old, educated, professionals----Need a MAN'S advice---?
You answered your own question a number of times.

NO SEX!----Need a MAN'S advice---?
maby something bad happend... its kinda bad of you not to even call or try to go to his house.

Need a man's advice on ex?

My ex and I broke up 5 months ago, after a long, passionate, and very public relationship. We were each others first loves. We broke up initially because we had both become really jealous and we barely let each other hang out with other people. The day after we broke up, he wanted to still kiss me and I told him no, then he got mad and started talking about other girls when I was around to make me jealous, but I knew what he was doing so I ignored it. A month went by and during that time he started skipping school(we are seniors in HS, juniors then) and trying to start fights with a few of my guy friends. I was worried about him so I went to his house one night and talked to him about why he had suddenly changed so much. He was stubborn but I could tell he was still hurt. After our talk, he almost totally stopped the skipping and fighting. We haven't talked since then, but over the summer he would get people to add me on myspace to ';check up on me'; and ask me questions, even though he had a new girlfriend. Also, he makes his girlfriend refer to him by his last name? which I find totally bizarre and impersonal, and he calls her all the nicknames that we made up for each other. And they only see each other on the weekends, nevertheless, they are still together. Now that we are back in school, I catch him staring at me from afar(when he's alone), but he won't say anything. Also, people tell me that in class, when someone says my name, he looks up and acts mad.

So, I think he still has feelings for me but I'm not sure if/how he will admit it because he's too proud.

And sadly, even though I dated a guy briefly and have been talking to lots of guys, I still have feelings for him as well.

How do I break the ice and get him to tell me the truth? Need a man's advice on ex?
He sounds like he has some personal issues that need to be resolved before anything healthy can occur. Distance is the best thing, and he needs to learn about himself and his feelings. Little good he'll be to any woman acting like that!Need a man's advice on ex?
There is no easy way to to break the ice. Just like you his feelings are going to dictate his reaction to you. If he wants to be with you he'll listen even he says no, but then again he may just be an *** about the whole thing. So all i can say is talk to him see where you two stand.

I Need Man Grooming Advice for Those Naughty Areas!?

Okay so here is the situation. I am a pretty hairy guy and I want to manage my crotch to anus area (including both). So I tried the whole waxing thing and uhm er, yah not fun. Anyways, I also tried the shaving thing and the stubble KILLS!!! Especially in the area between the gonads and anus. I haven't tried depilatory creams and I don't know if I want to (does the hair grow back with its fine tip or does it grow back with the same tip as though you shaved? and besides I am not into the whole baby smooth look). Anyways, Im going off to university and I need to find a way to manage that hair. The way I figure is this; I can just an electric trimmer/razor and just trim the areas to a desired length and that way no itch. Do you think this is a good idea? and any tips? And another reason I can't shave is cause ya gotta make the whole strip of area kinda blend, you cant have hair stop and then start again randomly, and i don't wanna shave it all. For the hairy guys and not hairy guys (gays); is hair there really that big of an issue? and if so how would you deal with it? Do note when I say im hairy I mean HAIRY.

And YES this is a serious question!!! Help!!!!I Need Man Grooming Advice for Those Naughty Areas!?
i have been manscaping since before the term was coined... invest in a QUALITY corded hair trimmer... to keep up your taint (that stretch you mentioned) use the trimmers with the lowest guard and then no guard, do the same for the brown one eye ;-)I Need Man Grooming Advice for Those Naughty Areas!?
Get an electric trimmer, and go to town! Lol!! Look man, guys don't really like for a woman to have a bush, show the same courtesy and shave yours!

Electric trimmers will still cause an itch for a very short while as the stubble's come back, but since you not using a blade the stubble's are not as bad. Keep your stuff maintained and you wont notice any itching anymore.
I trim my pubes. I have shaved em before and hated the itching so I went to trimming.

Trimming is easier, doesn't itch, and u don't have to do it as often to keep it up.

So yeah I would recommend trimming over shaving or waxing. I never tried the cream stuff so it might work also.
Yes, use a beard trimmer on a short setting, I do and you only need to do it about once a week or so.

It is far easier if you can get a friend or partner to do your butt crack!

I prefer a guy or girl trimmed everywhere!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TiJNewpC鈥?/a>

That helped me.
i understand shaving does take a long time but i recommend for you just to trim....dat way it wont itch or u wont get dat pointy hair all over you...lol
You should have asked this in Mens health, but the trimmer is the way to go if you dont like wax........
Yeah, just trim it, I don't think there's a way to comfortably make it very short or take it off.
don't shave, just lightly cut with scissors
okk! that is very very very gross,but you should go with the electric trimmer or razor
Electric trimmer dude, I use one. That's the way to go
The biggest differences between shaving with a razor as opposed the electric is time is takes and the amount that comes off. If you do want to keep some of the hair (mind you, that IS very sexy and manly) and you don't want to itch, use the electric. Preferably, one with that is designed for trimming. That way, you keep some hair.

Another thing you have to remember is to keep those areas clean and moisturized. Good ol' fashion soap, water, and lotion daily will allow the hair from the really close areas to break though the skin and not get infected.
Okay Solution for you is Either Laser and Electrolysis

Need a man's advice: do you think my ex's problems at school are a result of our breakup?

beauty cosmetics

----Need a MAN'S advice---?

Need a man's advice on ex?

I Need Man Grooming Advice for Those Naughty Areas!?

Need a man's advice please!! :(?

Ok, I just got out of a 3 and 1/2 year relationship back in February. I've been talking on the phone to this new guy for about 3 weeks. I knew of him since we were kids, but we never really talked to each other. He's in the military and is stationed 4 hours away while I'm commited to school. Well, I drove to stay with him for memorial day weekend and we ended up sleeping together. I felt horrible, because I don't just sleep with people especially so soon. He asked me if I was ok and everything and said he feels bad that I feel bad. I got up the next morning and left as soon as I awoke. He walked me to my car, gave me a hug and said he'll still talk to me and that I didn't have to go. He has been calling and texting me still. Could he really like me or you think he will think I'm just a slut? He says he doesn't see me any different. I just feel really bad. I do like him..I think I was just a raging hormone at the time:( I was use to being in a relationship and having sex on a normal basis.Need a man's advice please!! :(?
What you did was absolutely natural, and I feel is by no means slutty. The guy sounds like a good guy, for one he is serving his country protecting his people, like you, me, our families, our kids, and he is even willing to die for that cause, which I feel makes it so he deserved to get some anyway ha. As long as he isn't texting/calling you (first) ten times a day then obviously he doesn't feel your a slut, and is actually looking to be the good guy. Don't be scared off by your actions, even he wasn't.Need a man's advice please!! :(?
You are very aware of your actions, and thats a good sign that you are not out of control. There is nothing wrong with what you did, you have known him for a very long time......its not like you just did it with some guy you met at the bar like many, many other women do. If you like him, get over all your guilt and talk to him, you two may make a love connection.

Good luck.
Will first of all you should be proud of yourself for going to school. Ok you had a little fun over the weekend your in-titled and why shouldn't you see him. I would give it a chance and stay in school. Now go have some fun.
I think that if he valued your relaltionship he would have waited longer, and you would of also. Although, I think the fact that he is still talking to you may be an indication that he likes you, but maybe he just wants more.
obviously he doesn't think you're a slut, and I dont either!
There is nothing wrong with that. Seems like you guys liked each other enough.
not a slut. just sadend
Nothing wrong with what you did. He doesn't think any less of you!

Ramadan section I am married to a Muslim man from Egypt and I am Christian im trying so hard but need advice?

can you please read my question here

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am3KAFpOFUYIFzDmayiPQGPsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090417024650AACtKTURamadan section I am married to a Muslim man from Egypt and I am Christian im trying so hard but need advice?
Dear,

Peace be upon you.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

One of the 11 wives of Prophet Muhammad was a Christian and was call Ummurul Mukminin after the birth of Ibrahim.

Wabillahhitaufiq Walhidayah Wassalamu'alaikum Warahmatullahhi Wabarakatuh.Ramadan section I am married to a Muslim man from Egypt and I am Christian im trying so hard but need advice?
He is a typical eastern man . The main problem now is that you shout at him when he picks on you , I don't know but I think a wife shouldn't shout at her husband whenever he picks on her at least not every time , let him sometimes vent it without you answering back . If you want to keep with him and you say you don't want divorce which is very good from you I would then advise you to to ignore him and not respond when he is angry or when he picks on you . How about the silent treatment , make him feel guilty because you didn't get mad at him when you're supposed to .

He is the type of men who likes to criticize his partner , they are a lot in the middle east , wants his partner to be a perfectionist when he himself is not , realizing this flaw you'll be able to deal with the problem . Make him understand that you're not perfect and you're doing your best to make him happy , take an action if he keeps criticizing you by sulking him so he will not get used to do that . Do what is in your ability to be a good wife and a good house wife but you do that for yourself first to be a successful person before doing it to please him .

Bear in your mind that no one is perfect , look at the good and positive side of him and he could be better than many other men .

Being a Christian and he is a Muslim is not an issue . The issue is how to deal with his flaws . I pray everything will go well for you . Peace to you .
You just need to take a break from all this. Just go away for a while, and not let him control you and break you down. No matter how much he cries, he needs to realize that you're doing all you can to make him happy and he complains beyond that. You're the sole provider, and you have to do all the work for him, and get yelled at and accused of cheating, etc. Seriously, that's an emotionally abusive, controlling relationship. You need a ';cop out,'; just take a break..tell him how you really feel and just walk out on him for a while; he needs the time to re-evaluate himself and understand that you're putting up with as much as you can. And, he'll never learn to appreciate what he has until he experiences some loss of what he took for granted. And emotionally, it must be tormenting you to see how much he's changed over a course of months...and I understand how tiring it is to be accused and called so many rude things for stuff you never did. It's emotional abuse, and you really do not have to put up with it anymore. I don't think there's a moral obligation to stay married to an abusive person; Christian or not.
He should never be little you, abuse you, rape you, or physically hurt you. He has to respect you as a woman and human being regardless in what his culture or religion says. If he continues then divorce him. Never lose sleep over him.

He has to change and not you.
email me if you like, as I am the same.

But unfortunately, I don't know if I will help you, or confuse you.

What I can offer is sincere friendship and based on our commonality.

Salam, jude

OK, really would like a man's advice on what he really means.... but woman can sometimes just tell it like...

it is so... here we go. I was with this guy for about 5 months and we were soooo happy together. He had 2 kids and I have 2 kids and we were supposed to move in together and everything. Well one day out of the blue he says he has guilt over spending time with my kids when his are gone and then feels guilty for spending time with all of them together. Which leave no time for us except the weekends that neither of us have kids. He broke it off, I was heartbroken. He was recently divorced and I understood as much as I could. Its been a almost a year now and we've started doing things together but I couldn't hold my feelings in any longer and I had to know if he loved me still or if I was just someone to take out and have fun with and of course sleep with. He said he didn't know how he felt??? What does that mean, I love him deeply and I can't imagine my life without him again but should I get out now or give it some time??? I love his girls deeply too. Please HELP!!OK, really would like a man's advice on what he really means.... but woman can sometimes just tell it like...
You weren't too specific, but you say he's recently divorced. It takes time to reconstitute ones individual personality after a deep or long relationship. Only the individual knows if they're there or not.

I think you guys jumped the gun a little bit. He might be only now getting to the point where he's not trying to replace his family but to build a new one. The smoking crater of his previous life might still be burned into his retinas. Now, he's dealing with the fact that relationships (even supposedly solid ones) can be painfully transient. This is a big thing to handle. He might need time and space to come to terms with a new blended family and the possibility that it can end again.

Now YOUR decision is whether or not he's worth the wait. I'm just telling you that it takes time. Only you can decide if he's moving toward your way of thinking or not.

Personally, this might be a good thing. If he takes the time he needs, your relationship will benefit from it down the road. He will be more ready to commit more deeply and so will you.

Better that than to think you've ';set the hook'; and have him wiggle off later and crush you.OK, really would like a man's advice on what he really means.... but woman can sometimes just tell it like...
imcbuilde has the best answer.
no clue

sorry, its a totally foreign situation to me

I don't have any kids and never dated anyone who did
He's seeing you, sleeping with you, and he just told you he doesn't know how he feels.

Think about it. Then think about it again.

There are other nice guys out there who will love you and your kids.

Best of luck-

beauty cosmetics

Need some advice on a VERY confusing man... PLEASE, ADVICE?

Ok I need to know wut the hell is going through my ex's mind. We broke it off recently, We were dating for over a year and a half and I do know that he loves me, as do i him, and he knows i treated him right, but my life situations have come in between us. I know he is hurt, but on the other hand he's so fuc*ing cocky and into himself sometimes it's hard to believe he even cares.

So here's where i am confused,Yesterday he pissed me off by saying things about my family so i told him i was happy to have never had his child and i give up on him. He ended up avioding the whole point of the message and bringing up how great our sex life was and inviting me over last night. so i went over and we had a night together. Do you think he invited me over bc the comment i made to him hurt him to hear and from that he is wanting to get me back? or was it only an invite for sex?

Please no rude remarks, breakups are hard enough, I am only trying to figure out what he is wanting from all thisNeed some advice on a VERY confusing man... PLEASE, ADVICE?
It's a power thing. By having sex with you again, it reaffirms that he has sexual power over you that you can't resist. In other words, you put up a good fight, but when push comes to shove, he can still have you when he wants. Friendly advice: If you want to ';submit'; to a man, submit to someone who loves you and will watch out for you.Need some advice on a VERY confusing man... PLEASE, ADVICE?
It was strictly a booty call. I doubt he even heard (or listened) to a word you said since it had nothing to do with what he said. Nothing is hard to figure out here, he wanted sex. What you need to figure out is WHY you actually went over there and spent the night with your ex?!? All he wanted was sex, so what did you want out of it, especially after the guy insulted you?
If he really wanted you by his side, you'd know it. Probably only about sex now. I'd cut ties and find a new fish in the sea you really like and who wants you back!
He's your EX right? Why do you care what your EX is thinking, or feeling? When relationships are over you're suppose to move on from that person, not still act like it's a relationship.
You already know the answer to this. You're not very nice to each other. You're not married or divorced so your question should not be here.
He was horny, and you came over and took care of it for him. You are now a booty call.
Dumb ho, you got USED.
It may have been a sex invite..and even if it was and it's something that you don't mind, please don't get caught up in the situation. Believe it or not.. some men would get you pregnant on purpose. Even though they may not want to be with you, it could be their way of keep the part of you they enjoy for the rest of their lives.. I just started reading the new book by Steve Harvey called Act like a Lady, Think like a Man..go to walmart and get it.. it's some great insite on some situations with men that women may never understand otherwise.. Take Care and good luck

Desperate man need advice?

My wife and I have been married for 1 1/2 years. I am in the military currently in Iraq. We got married before I left the first time and i came back live together for six months and left again. During that time we had some problems with the stress of me being gone and having money issues. My wife an I have had allot of arguments and I yelled at her a lot. I called her and she told me that she needed some space from talking. I agreed and told her that sound like a good idea. Then she called me and told me that she don't think she loves me anymore and that she don't know if she can be with me. I never called her any names or nothing real bad when i yelled at her and never touched her. I didn't realized that I hurt her that bad and i want to work it out with her and be the man she deserves. I feel like this is all my fault the reason she is thinking all this. I have been taking counseling and classes on stress and how to control my anger. But every time I want to calmly talk about us to try and work this out she says that im pressuring her and that not what i want. She refuses to talk about it every time i bring it up so im waiting for her to be ready. I have 4 months left on my deployment do you think i should try to wait until i get home or try and work it out apart form each other. I want to be with her more than anything is there still a chance that we can be together. Please some adviceDesperate man need advice?
She told you not to call and talk so she could have some ';alone time'; to try out her new beau....then liked him enough to give the sure thing the total brush-off, and told you to Git!

I could be wrong, but this is a familiar pattern. Know this, though, she's already been in the arms of another while you were away, probabbly before you came back for six months, hence all the bickering. Guilty people fight with who they feel the guilt for, to assuage same.

Read a pshchology text, if you don't believe me.

Good luck, and PEACEDesperate man need advice?
She needs to go see the wives group that represents military wives of deployed soldiers. They can help her cope with things while you continue your counseling. This is not uncommon and the wives group really does help. Ask your supervisor what its called. I forget. And she can find out, too. Thank you for your service and the best of luck to you. I hope she doesn't give up. It's worth the wait.
Leave it in God's hands. You might get a Dear John letter, so don't get your hopes up.
Wow. You sure do have a lot on your shoulders. This deployment would be difficult on any marriage, even very strong ones.

I think my best advice at this point is to write her and tell her what you said in your question. You agree you fight a lot, stress of you being gone and money issues, and you didn't realize how badly some of the things you said hurt her. Just apologize. Don't ask for anything (except forgiveness if you so choose) and don't blame. Just apologize and hope you can work things out.

You both sound young and it is possible in this period of seperation she has met someone who she turns to for companionship. This may be confusing her feelings right now. Maybe not and she just needs to step back and re-evaluate things.

Apologizing for and acknowledging your part will help you grow in maturity and help with future situations, with her and/or without her.

Good luck.
I went through the same thing with my husband, who was away for 11 months for a detail. We've been married 14 years, and boy was it hard on us, we had the same issues, and were always arguing although with him I had problems with cursing words and him putting me down and blaming me for everything and him never taking any responsibility. We were on the verge of a divorce, but I did a lot of praying and went to church. I truly believe this helped our marriage, plus I realized that I had to just hear him out and be very understanding and loving, I needed to play reverse psycology. A relationship will never get better if one person doesn't give in, and try to work it out. Being away from eachother is very tuff, and it gives you more courage to do things, because you get used to being apart. When you get back you need to try your best to win her heart, by loving her and being very apologetic, maybe even getting her a nice gift, and getting a room for 3 days so you all can be romantic with one another, it'll really help, once you are back home you will be able to work things out better. You'll have a chance to analyze your marriage and love. Don't give up, and just be very loving with her on the phone, don't waste your time arguing, or discussing things you can't change. focus on happy things and what you all are going to do once you get back.
Back to back deployments can be very hard on a marriage as can financial issues. I dont understand money issues though while you are deployed as you are in a tax free zone. Sounds to me like maybe she is overspending while you are away???? Try not to talk about this over the phone...let her know that you still love her and want to be with her and you are willing to see how things go when you get home. The classes you are taking sound great...stay with them. As hard as it is for you to be in Iraq, it is equally as hard on her to have you gone. I was a military wife for 18 years and the deployments finally broke us. I would suggest some marriage counseling when you get back if you intend to work things out...
How old are you guys?

Deployment is BRUTAL on marriage. I'm sure you knew going in that this might not work out.

Please don't torture yourself thinking she may be cheating.

The truth is, that she maybe is lonely and doesn't want to live the rest of your marriage as a far away wife, worrying about YOU cheating and being bored, depressed, and worries.

Three words. LET IT GO.

If it's meant to be, it will all work out in the end.

If not, you got a painful but important life lesson. Don't get married when you are about to be deployed.

STOP calling her!

Imagine yourself in her shoes. If you were annoyed with your husband, would YOU want him to keep calling?

NO! Give her a chance to miss you.

Give her some space.

STOP calling, texting, emails, Ims and writing letters.

Wait a few weeks.

Contact her mother or sister and tell her that you love this woman so much, you are WILLING TO GIVE HER SPACE.

Later, write a long, slow, gentle letter.

Say that you realize how hard it is for HER.

Think about HER feelings over your own, if you truly love her.

Say 'I'm so sorry for all that's gone wrong. We were in love at one point, and it's possible we could be in love again. I am willing to be that man you want in your life. I am willing to give you space to think this over. Write me or call me when YOU ARE READY to talk. Signed, your loving husband.'

Seriously, dude. Stop clinging to this.

Go to church. Go to counseling. Work out. Improve yourself. Deal with your anger problems. Listen to uplifting music and avoid violence, video games, horror movies, punk rock, or anything that makes you feel more agitated.

Let go and let God.

I am in love with a bi-polar man. Any advice?

We have been together for over a year, but he has broken up with me a couple of times because his medicine made him very depresssed. He is kind, and loving and honest, and good to me, except when he is depressed. Then he says he can't stay with me, and moves out. He loves me, and enjoys my company, otherwise.I am in love with a bi-polar man. Any advice?
It sounds like he should try a different medication. I'm bipolar and so is my mom, and it takes time, therapy, and the right combination of meds to really get balanced out. It sounds like your boyfriend is a decent guy, so it's important for you to be there for him and encourage him to get the right help. It's a very, very tough road for the patient and their loved ones, good luck and God Bless!! :)I am in love with a bi-polar man. Any advice?
Don't worry girl - Your not alone. My man is the almost the same way. Very fun, very attentive, but can get very depressed or stressed about something so trivial. We've had more fights about the stupidest things. You just have to ask yourself... Is he worth hanging on to. Are the highs worth going thru the lows. See if he can talk to his Doc about adjusting the meds. That helps. My man isn't even on meds right now. Imagine that...
Just keep him as a friend, don't get married. I have a bi-polar gf, some days she is fine, other days, totally off the wall, she scares me. She writes in run on sentences when she does write to me, that is when she is off of her medication. Bi-polar people can turn violent I heard. I would literally just keep him as a friend. Do you really want to start off that new chapter in your life with problems? I realize you love the guy, but stop and think, this is pretty serious stuff to get involved with. They are not stable when they are bi-polar. My gf can't even work or drive a car, it doesn't get better, the disease gets progressively worse as people age. I hope you make the right decision.
Sounds like my mom and stepdad's relationship. They were married for eight years, then he was diagnosed, and they divorced shortly thereafter. They've since gotten remarried. He's on medication, as well, and I just try to stay out of his way. My mom has this book, its called Living With Bipolarity, and she says she liked it. There's also a book by Danielle Steele, about her son, who was bipolar. Try reading those. Hope things work out.
If you love him that much, stay with him. But sounds like you will have some unhappy moments in your life that are unnecessary. Are you ready to be dealing with this kind of relationship forever? Good luck.
I just broke with a bi-polar man. He was up and down for 4 years. He finally cheated on me on one of his highs. It was the hardest trip I have ever been on. Get out of it and go on with you life. It is not the way you want to live. I am so relieved that it is over.
ya make sure he is takin his meds is all i can say
Sorry but I personally couldnt/wouldnt deal with the ever-changing moods. If you love him and can hang in there I guess you should but it must get so frustrating for you. good luck
they need to change his meds then and be supportive
Sounds like he needs to try different medicine. Make sure he stays on it. My husband won't take his. He says he doesn't like not feeling anything. It's a constant struggle. Good Luck to you.
become a bi-polar woman, and you will offset one another
move on with your life
Sounds like it's time for a major time-out! Maybe you'd be better off without him, who knows you may find someone better. In the mean time, get a dog (like a pug) and it will help you get through hard times!

鈾?John!
Things are never as simple as 'move out and get over it'.

There are mental health support groups, and it's not just for those with the illness. I suggest calling them and asking if they have sessions or groups that you could(or both of you) could go to to work things out, and develop coping strategies(specifically for him). Medication can't do everything, as difficult as it is, it's a battle that the ill fight, and I believe, to live with it or overcome it, can't give up hope or fighting.

If anything, and you do 'move out and on' then they can probably help you to deal with this part of your life. Sometimes closure into chapters of our life need a lot of time, and help.

If you have no idea where to start, start here http://www.camh.net/ . They are a Canadian gov.'t group that deals with this stuff. Here is one page on their website of some info. http://www.camh.net/About_Addiction_Ment鈥?/a> . A page on a website doesn't really do the group justice. Call ask if they have contacts in your country/area, and work from there.

Good luck.
Just be careful. I have a cousin who is bi-polar, and you never how how to take her from one day to the next. She acts nice one minute, and the next time she sees me, she acts as if she's mad about something. So just be careful.
I have bi-polar and I don't envy any guy who has dated me. The only thing I can recommend is a book called ';The Survival Guide to living with someone who has bi-polar';. You sound like a very patient and caring person. I wish you the best of luck.