My friends bf...advice? mans perspective please 10 points!?

Her BF of 1 year on and off recently told her he just wanted to be friends. He calls her to hang out all the time more then he did when they were together, and casually... shes still totally in love with him sees him in her future...





She texts hin things like good morning sweetie and his reply is were just friends remember that. Like to over reiterate that to her. It kills her and kills me everytime shes disapointed fro mhis comments. When they hang out he wont kiss her even on the cheek bc he says it has to be friends but yet he keeps her around?


Sometimes she calls him and he yells at her for calling so much, and shes ready to stay away when hes mean..but then days later after no contact hell call her up like, wanna hang out?





Shes really confused and hurt. theres this guy I KNOW likes her and he wants out of his relationship with his current... he texts her like... hey sweety, I am thinking about you..and she ignores his compliments bc he has a gf and doesnt want to be the reason they break up.. ANY advice for her please, from a guys point of view whats going on with her ex possibilities and advice appreciated in advance 10 PTS to best??My friends bf...advice? mans perspective please 10 points!?
Ok, there's a lot here to answer. First, the bf is behaving just like a man. He wants her when she's not available, but doesn't want her when she is. It's all about the chase for men, when they're doing the chasing, they're happy. When they're being chased they lose interest.


Isn't it lovely for him that he doesn't have the hassle of a girlfriend, but he has all the benefits and ego boosts of having one!


When a girl is infatuated with a guy, she simply doesn't notice attention from other guys. It's like wearing blinkers, any other guys are just guys, and attention from them is simply a bit of an annoyance, sure it may be an ego boost, but she can't be interested in another when she's invested in the first.


With the first guy... her best bet is to stay away from him for a bit. He'll probably come a-crawling, they usually do. And when he does, she should tell him, No, I'm busy getting over you, I'm NOT spending time with you. It's practically impossible to get over someone while they're still around, unless you went off them already. Of course, it does mean that he's gonna get more insistent about spending time with her, maybe not immediately but soon.


There are three possibilities with this tactic. One, he realises the chase is back on, and the longer she keeps it up, the more he'll want her, they could well end up back together. Two, he realises that he doesn't want her, in which case he won't put the effort in. If this is the case, then the relationship wasn't meant to be, they would have broken up and stayed apart sooner or later.


The third possibility is the one I'd plump for. Basically, while she's not seeing him she needs to be having fun and enjoying her life. Not so easy at first I grant you. This is where you, her friends come in. Spend time with her, go walking up the mountains, go to the beach, hang out with fun people, go to parties. Avoid her getting too drunk and maudlin, it's gonna take a while for that to wear off. The upshot of this one (and it definitely worked for me!) is that sooner or later she will get to a place where she's ready to enjoy her life without him. When this happens, she'll start seeing other possibilities, the fun of being alone, the fun of being with her fiends, the fun of being with someone new. It takes time, but it's so worth it!


Of course, this only works if she actually does stay away from him.


Now, the other guy... again he's got it all hasn't he? Isn't it great for him to have the girlfriend and another bit on the side. She may not be that interested but it doesn't stop him texting and approaching her in inappropriate ways. A guy who behaves like this is never going to understand monogamy. In my experience, they're the same ones who kiss other people while in a relationship, and even woo one girl, while with another, end up with the second and start wooing a third while still with her. Not the kind of guy any self-respecting woman wants.





In a nutshell - she should walk away, spend time being herself, give herself a fantastic Summer and at the end of it re-evaluate where whe is and where she wants to be. Hope this helped, and that it all works out!My friends bf...advice? mans perspective please 10 points!?
First, she needs to leave her ex alone and don't bother talking to him, especially if he treats her like that. He's not worth the effort. As for the other guy, I'd also stay away from him. If he's in a relationship and is constantly texting her about how much he likes her, who's to say he won't do that to her when the next ';flavor of the month'; comes along?
i would tell her to tell him to stop calling her, i think hes keeping her around just incase he needs a backup or a booty call. tell her to leave him alone and never talk to him again. also tell her if the other guy is saying that stuff to her to talk to him if they break up its not cuz of her its cuz of him. tell her i said goodluck
It's obvious the ex doesn't want her to be really close to him in any way and she's trying to force to situation back at him. He doesn't want ties to her to make her think there's any chance of reconciling. And so what if this other guy already has a girlfriend! Maybe he's fishing to hook her before he actually turns loose of the one he's got, playing it careful not to lose the one he has if she don't bite on his advances.
There's potentially any number of reasons why he's behaving like this, but the most likely ones have already been mentioned in other replies. The point is, irrespective of why he's doing this, she is being used and the situation is unlikely to get any better.





She's indulging in wishful thinking with all this 'sweetie' talk and he recognises that and, through a combination of pushing her away and calling her back again, is keeping her hanging there, just at the distance he wants her to be; probably for a potential fall-back lay. She needs to 'spit the hook' !