Well, to make a long story short--despite regular condom usage, I found out 3 days ago that I'm pregnant. And, to make matters worse, I also found out that he is married with 2 damn kids.
Of course, when I told him he told me that 1) it wasn't his baby and 2) to lose his phone number because if I call he isn't going to answer.
So, judgement aside because I already know where I screwed up....I am against abortion and would like to give this child up for adoption. However, I am wondering if there are homes/places/arrangements that can be made so that the pregnancy can be kept secret?
%26amp; is there anything I can do to force some type of help out of him, because I'm going to need it---even if its something as simple as him paying for childcare for my son while i am in Labor.Pregnant by married man/manager...advice?!?!?
Hi,
Like you asked I am not judging here. We all know we all one screw up more than once. SO here are some ideas that I hope can help you and also don't feel as if you are all alone on this.
About giving up the baby for adoption.
Being at the other end, a woman who was looking to adopt, I find that this website :
http://www.americanadoptions.com
seemed to have a very caring, warm approach to both the mother and potential parents.
They have tons of effective charitable comforting ideas/resources.
Please do try to get in touch with them, take a look at the website first. They do not judge they just want to give all of us women, in whichever side of the adoption line you are, the best chance and support.
About the father. I am NOT a lawyer but this said here are my 2 cents.
I am going to be pretty blunt, IF you are 100% sure he is the father, you CAN leagally have him take a paternity test. He has to comply. If he DOES NOT WANT TO DO IT, in most states the judge may order directly for him to pay full child support, until the child is 18. Or at least in your case some expenses until you put the baby up for adoption.
You would have to look for /some organization that can represent you legally with no cost to you or a lwayer acting pro bono. as hiring any laywer can be very costly, perhaps also check your City/State Assistance or some Women organization/Lawyers in your town/state that help unwed mothers ';pro bono'; , that means they will represent you for Free, as a volunteer for people who can not affor legal counsel.
You may want to check this site's forum on Paternity Law, you may also post questions there and lawyers will answer them :
http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/forumdis鈥?/a>
I wish you the best of luckPregnant by married man/manager...advice?!?!?
well if possible and you want to keep the child he will have to pay child support and he will be ordered to do a paternity test to prove he is the father as that is how it is done then when they say it is his he will have to pay child support but as to paying for your son well he has no responsibility in that so i would not hide it cause if he is doing it with you on his wife he is doing to his wife with other people
now he's not resposible for your other son who was paying childcare for him before you got pregnant but if i was you I would tell his wife about the whle pregnancy and you can also sue him for support and his wife since he want to play you like that
I'm sure there are a few adoptive parents out there who would be willing to help you out financially %26amp; house you while you're pregnant provided you sign iron-clad paperwork that you won't reneg on your end of the deal (giving them the baby).
Your pregnancy is a secret unless you tell people NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO RELEASE PERSONAL INFO%26gt; You can also have them sign a contact to keep it private. as for the father He is already claiming its not his kid and he can fight that till a paternity test is done and then depending on where you live he can fight you for the child. I know the reason why you are having the kid sucks but think you might need to think about the fact is its still your child alot of people have major regrets after giving the child up. GL in your choice
omg, what a dirt bag ..i'm sorry you got involved with such a crap guy but I would tell his wife because it's not fair for her to be with someone who is unfaithful and is irresponsible. She might make him to the right thing by being by you side through all this. It takes two to get pregnant and you didn't do this to yourself so you shouldn't have to deal with it alone. Tell him he can help you with support or his wife will be informed lol
as for adoption ...speak to a local agency and make sure you really have time to think about all this because you might feel differently when you actually have the baby!! good luck with everything!!!
There isn't much you can make him do and if you push it, you could be in danger. The adoption agency can probably help you out. I hope that you aren't making this decision based on him. Make sure that you are doing this with the best intentions. Giving a child to a couple that cannot have children is very noble, but there is serious consequences for all. Adopted children always have a feeling of abandonment. If you already have a baby, you know the feelings you have right after giving birth. I'm not trying to talk you out of it by any means, but am just suggesting that you make sure that you are doing this in YOUR best interest and not the sperm donors.
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