So gosh darn confused--i need a man's advice!?

ok, my fiance doesn't have sex with me as much. i recently gained about 10 pounds or so, but im not fat, and he tells me constantly how sexy, gorgeous, beautiful i am (and he always grabs me in certain places ;) anywho, we have sex maybe 1-2 times a week. he's 23, im 22, so we r still young and should both have high sex drives, well i do, he doesn't. i know when he gets home he's tired, blah blah blah, but so am i, and i still want him badly!!! he always turns me down when i try, so i just assume not try. it frustrates me and screws with my self-esteem when he rejects me CONSTANTLY. a few times now, i've waken up and gone to get something to drink only to find him masturbating to porn(i understand guys love to watch porn, i like it sometimes too, but when you're turning your fiance down all the time, but go watch porn, there's something wrong, right?please correct me if i'm wrong)i have discussed this with him on numerous occasions, but he tells me the same thing, im tired, im not sexual like you(he sure as hell was a few months ago)my back hurts, blah blah blah. so, guys, what do you think? is he cheating?is he not attracted to me anymore(even though he tells me how gorgeous i am all the time)? or is he just a prude(even though just a few months ago he was a horn-dog all the time)?what should i do?So gosh darn confused--i need a man's advice!?
Ok, so I'm not a man.....However, it's not rocket science. It's no effort to satisfy himself. He's not into the whole matter of going thru the time consuming effort to please another, when he can get it done in half the time, and no effort. Until he can resolve his self gratification, and porn issue, you will continue to be his leftovers.......Sorry.....鈾モ櫏So gosh darn confused--i need a man's advice!?
he may be cheating, but lots of guys get addicted to porn, because there's no commitment on his part. He's not a prude. twice a week is pretty normal, actually. talk to a professional; he may not think he needs help, so you do, because he will wear down your self-esteem with his behavior.
I'm sorry to say that he's just lazy. It takes an effort to have sex with a woman and try to please her. He just wants a quick and easy ';0';. Myself, I would always rather have a mutual sexual experience...but that's just me. He's not thinking of you...just himself. Selfish and lazy. You may want to reconsider spending your life with this guy.
I would be upset about the masturbation if he is turning you down....my partner has a lower sex drive then me.....but he doesn't masturbate so I accept 1-2 times a week for sex. I don't know what his deal is....but I would definitely be talking to him about it, to find out.
I cant say if he is cheating, but that is weird crap why turn down the real deal to pleasure yourself, a guy will not notice a gain of 10 lbs, I would confront him and say get on me or get the f out lol..
if hes not playing around .. when your there ..then hes nuts .. i would play with you 24/7 //// if i had the chance .. so hes up to no good ..i bet .next time hes on the porn .. undress and then see .. .
Probably you have driven him nuts with your over rated sexual demands. So he thinks he cannot satisfy you to your liking. He is sulking and fulfills his part of the sexual desire in privacy, keeping more to himself.Just play it cool baby. If you want so much sex out of this man, get him prepared for it first. It some times happens that he gets exhausted out of ideas towards sex, or some thing might be bothering him inside. Play it soft and let him do the dominant role, and try to bring him back to his horn-dog way. Good luck.
after the first three sentances I knew the issue was porn. This is absolutely typical of porn addiction. Your sex life will be worse after you marry, I promise. Get him to give up the porn or you. Don't play second fiddle to a video.





he needs help. This is a difficult addiction to break. There are all kinds of emotions wrapped up in porn addictions -- in part that actual sex isn't the same as porn sex and he might be afraid he isn't ';man enough'; for you.





get counseling and please do not get married until this is resolved.
Talk to him and don't take ';I'm tired'; for answer.


That the guy equiv. of ';I have a headache.';


You have to approach it very gently and give him the emotional room to be honest without hurting you, himself, or starting a fight.





It's tempting to jump to porn/masturbation addiction but I think there is another underlying cause in this case because he changed behavior while with you.





Do you/did you turn him down with any frequency?


Do you use condoms?


Do you have opposite working schedules? Did your schedules change?


Are you very demanding in bed? Does he feel he's not adequate?





1-2 times a week is not a high sex drive. That's moderate, even low considering your age and lack of other obligations (e.g. no kids!).





Most men would lit their stash on fire with glee if their women wanted it all the time.
wouldn't assume he's cheating unless theres proof, however most likely he is not attracted to you the way he use to be, you never said why you gained weight...if he's watching online porn, maybe he 's on dating websites and is cyber cheating, check it out, at 22/23 I was in it all the time 3-4 times a day, get at me if ya need some help!
It's very possible that he just doesn't have a strong libido. Believe it or not it happens. This is why I, and others on here, often advise people to learn of their partners sexual experience and desires before marriage. Some couple simply aren't compatible. This may be the case with you and yours. Sorry but he apparently wants it less than you. Maybe it's time to go separate ways.
Well, first thing: make sure this is resolved before the wedding happens. If the wedding is tomorrow, you HAVE to tell everyone you are sorry, but there's something that needs to be resolved first. Don't worry about them, it's your marriage and your future. Don't get married with this hanging over you. And give it some time AFTER it's resolved before you restart the wedding plans.





I'd say that yes, it is your weight that is a problem. This is less of a problem than most women think, and more men than you think are okay with a little bit more, versus a little bit less weight.





But he is looking at women on line who are probably not 10 pounds overweight.





Here's a tactic that will help you get into his head. Figure out how to join him in his on-line viewing, and join him in his ';release';. He still will want to be alone sometimes, so if you say something like ';I can't do this very often, but today I can';, it'll make him feel more comfortable about letting you join him. He won't feel like he has to leave the house to be alone.





This will help you understand his sexuality in this context. It will help you know what he wants, what this appetite is about. It will help you know if it's something you need to worry about or maybe something you can gradually take over, and I mean take over with his enthusiastic approval. Not with his grudging approval.





The fact is, you cannot control this appetite of his. He is going to have it until he is done. You can influence it, and you can endear yourself to him so much that he forgets all about it.





Here's another tactic that you may or may not want to pursue. So take it or leave it: Get Dr Laura Schlessenger's book ';The proper care and feeding of husbands';. Her approach is to be such a great wife that your husband will ';swim across shark-infested waters to bring you a glass of lemonade.';





But if it turns out that he's not right for you, or you are not right for him, no amount of anything you do will fix this, and you should know pretty quickly if it's time to cut bait and move on.