I feel bad venting about family issues to my man... advice?

my boyfriend and i are crazy about eachother. even though hes deployed in japan he calls everyday AND emails. as close as we are though i havent talked much about my family history, mostly because it isnt a pretty one and i feel someone guilty burdening him with my past problems. he knows it wasnt the best and once when asked if he could give me anything he said a family that loves me for who i am just like he does, so i know hes understanding... its just everytime we talk i dont want to mention anything negative, talking to me is the one thing he looks forward to and i want to keep our convos as lighthearted as possible. should i continue doing what im doing?





its not that my family issues are a current problem, i just think at some point considering things between us are very serious, he should know my past, because my past made me who i am today.


:)





i love him more than anything and i want to make him as happy as hes made me.


thanks in advance!I feel bad venting about family issues to my man... advice?
Hon, don't ';air your family's dirty laundry'; with him. Keep it to yourself for the time being. When he returns back to the states, then maybe there will be an appropriate time to discuss those issues. What you need is a good close girl friend or close relative that you can confide in if you need someone to talk with about these family problems. Even when he returns, you'll still need your best girl friend to talk girl talk. There are some things that you should avoid talking about when he is around. Save the really serious things for him and unload the petty stuff on your g/f. lolI feel bad venting about family issues to my man... advice?
well i know what ur saying... my best friends boyfriend was in iraq and she was going througha lot of family problems and didnt want to tell him...


if he is deployed at war then dont tell him... thats one thing u should probably wait for when he comes home... he has enough stuff to worry about then to hear something that isnt a current problem...






if he dsnt mind you telling him of your past, then go ahead. just tell him face to face....nt when he is in some other place. you dnt want him to worry about u if it could get him in trouble.
Honesty is the best policy.
fly out to japan and give him a bj and u can vent all your troubles to him and he cant say anything about it
It really depends how you feel about it. If he keeps pushing you to tell him about your family, ask him why does he need to know? If you're not comfortable telling him then there's no need to discuss it. However, if you really feel it's your responsibility to include him in your family life then I would confide in him. If he loves you, he'll understand and want to be involved. And tell him exactly what you said ';my past made me who I am today';.


I had similar issues before I was married, I'd done some things which I shouldn't have done and confided in my hubby. He was not happy at all, and didn't call/contact me for a few days. In the end the silence was driving him mad... Even though he was devestated he accepted what had happened and we moved on. Now we have a 3 year old and another one on the way! All the best X



Try touching on a light subject first, then talk about your family issues, the close with a light subject. This is the easiest way to communicate something that a person may perceive as negative. Most of the time we remember the last thing someone said to us, so you definitely want to close with that. Bringing that up in between the two ';light'; subjects will accomplish two things: for one you will still be able to talk to him about these things and two, it seems to think you feel like you may be bringing him down when you talk about it. So opening and closing the conversation with something ';light'; will smooth that over for you.


Hope this helps!